Self-care is a precondition for compassion, not a luxury after it

Haemin Sunim argues that people frequently treat caring for themselves as something to earn only after fully attending to others' needs, when in fact the ability to sustain compassion for others depends on first maintaining your own basic emotional and physical reserves. Someone running on empty, in his account, tends to produce compassion that is fragile, resentful, or short-lived, however well-intentioned it starts out.

He compares this to the practical safety instruction of securing your own oxygen mask before helping others, a metaphor chosen deliberately because it reframes self-care as a functional necessity rather than a moral failing or self-indulgence. Skipping this step doesn't make someone more selfless; it typically makes their care for others less sustainable.

This reframing gives readers permission to attend to their own needs without guilt, treating it as the foundation their capacity for generosity actually rests on rather than something competing with it. Takeaway: depleting yourself in service of others usually produces worse care for everyone, including yourself.