Mindwise

Epley draws on his research in social psychology to argue that while humans have a remarkable, largely automatic capacity to intuit that other people have minds — attributing thoughts, feelings, and intentions to others constantly and effortlessly — this same capacity is riddled with systematic errors, from assuming others think more like us than they do, to over-attributing minds to things that don't have them, to under-attributing minds to people we've dehumanized or dismissed. He walks through experiments showing that closeness to someone, such as a spouse, doesn't reliably improve accuracy at reading their mind and can even create false confidence that masks real gaps in understanding.

The book matters because accurate mind-reading, however imperfect, underlies nearly all cooperation, empathy, and conflict resolution, and Epley's research suggests the most common fix isn't trying harder to infer what's in someone's head, but actually asking them and genuinely listening, a strategy people consistently underuse because they overestimate their own intuitive accuracy.

Who should read it

Anyone interested in the psychology of empathy, communication, or why close relationships still misunderstand each other regularly will find practical, research-backed insight here. It's especially useful for people in relationships, teams, or leadership roles who assume they already understand what others are thinking.

About the author

Nicholas Epley is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, where his research focuses on social cognition and how people understand the minds of others. His work has been published widely in academic psychology journals and popular media.