The in-love feeling is temporary by design

Chapman opens by naming something most couples never say out loud: the euphoric, obsessive infatuation of early romance — what he calls the "in-love" experience — has a natural expiration date, typically around two years, regardless of how right the relationship is. It isn't a warning sign; it's biology winding down a temporary state.

The danger is that couples mistake its fading for the death of the relationship itself, when really it's just the end of an involuntary phase and the beginning of a choice. Real love, in his framing, is an act of will and discipline that kicks in exactly where the involuntary high leaves off.

This reframe removes a lot of unnecessary panic from ordinary relationship maturity. Takeaway: when the initial spark fades, that's not the alarm bell — it's the cue that love now has to become intentional.